How to Make a Marriage Work After Cheating?

Most people know exactly how to make a marriage not work. But when you ask how to make a marriage work after cheating, they usually struggle for answers.

My name is Michelle, and last year I was on the verge of leaving my husband Alex. That’s the bad news.

The good news: we’re still together and happier than ever!

If you want to learn how we overcame our problems, then keep reading.

The Crisis – Infidelity

Here was my situation. By the time I was considering divorce I had been married for only one year.

Ironically, I met my husband after he had just finished going through an ugly divorce. He was hesitant to begin a relationship, but sparks flew, and before we knew it we were walking down the aisle.

One of the things that attracted me to him were his wonderful kids—beautiful three-year-old twin girls. I had never been in a relationship with kids involved before, and I began to love them like they were my own.

When we married not only did I gain a husband, but also stepchildren! I was so excited to suddenly have this family that I loved so much!

The excitement didn’t last long though….

After only one year of marriage I found some sexual texts from another woman on my husbands phone. When confronted he admitted the infidelity. I was shocked. I had been cheated on before, and have always stuck by the mindset of once a cheater, always a cheater.

I immediately thought divorce. How could I ever trust him again?

He tried to convince me that it was just a huge mistake. That it would never happen again. That he really loved me, and didn’t even care about the other woman.

I had heard it all before from a different guy and didn’t feel like hearing it again. I told him a separation would be best, and he should probably sleep at a hotel for the night and move out tomorrow.

But Then I Gave Him One Last Chance

When he came back the next day to get his things he left behind a letter. He poured his heart and soul into it, and frankly it had me considering working things out. At the end of the letter he said he wanted to seek help for our marriage.

He didn’t want to give up!

The letter made me cry. I decided I didn’t want to give up either, so I invited him over to talk.

He came by with a laptop and showed me this website he found offering an alternative to marriage counseling. He said his friend at work used this program to save his marriage after he and his wife faced divorce over religion conflicts.

I figured if the program helped them with something as personal and divisive as religion, maybe it could help me forgive my husband’s affair. I agreed to give it a try.

The Alternative to Counseling Worked

We started working through the program in the evenings, whenever we had some spare time. It replaced the TV that we were usually huddled around.

The first thing I noticed about the program, was that it got us talking. A lot!

I suddenly knew more about my husband than ever before. I learned that he divorced his wife because she cheated on him. Now he did the same thing to me, and felt sick about it. He never thought that would be him.

The more I learned about him the more I began to trust him.

Perhaps the most important thing we learned from the program was how to make a marriage work. It didn’t tell us what we shouldn’t do. It told us what we should do. What we need to do.

It was a refreshing approach to finding happiness in marriage, and it was effective!

Focus on How to Make a Marriage Work

Here we are, one year later, and our marriage is stronger than ever. My relationship with the twins is stronger too, but that’s another story!

We never would’ve made it if my husband hadn’t made one last-ditch effort and suggested seeking help. I was convinced it was over.

That’s not to say I was able to forgive and forget overnight. A year later, I still harvest resentment sometimes. But I try to catch myself and focus on how to make a marriage work. It takes trust. Communication. Love.

These are the principles we focus on now. Not mistakes.

If you’re having trouble in your marriage do what my husband and his coworker did. Fill out the form below and you’ll receive free marriage tips directly from Mort.

Making the decision to seek help saves married couples from divorce every year, and it may help you too!

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